I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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