her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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