i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The struggles of a small town man whore
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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