How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
