dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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