I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
