erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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