kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She made me pour olive oil on her.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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