I have demons in me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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