Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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