that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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