You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
