You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze