So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.