They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
