Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
soo... how was my night?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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