my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I need a burrito and a hug.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
