Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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