It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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