She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
did i just pee glitter
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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