He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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