you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So many bounce houses so little time
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
