so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
