Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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