Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
