Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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