.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
