Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
