two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
