come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
