I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
