dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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