Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize