i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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