your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
