You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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