And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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