Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
