I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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