Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
