Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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