Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
