Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
