Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
