I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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