One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
