Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
