what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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