she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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