I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she smelled like a LAN party
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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