I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
