seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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