dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
