Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
