well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
MIDGETS
????
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
