My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
