i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
